Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops