Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

Pickle

What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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