What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Hi there! As the Director of Anti-Joke, I would like to thank the users for their contributions so far. We are currently raising money in order to gradually end our dependence on advertisements for revenue. Your participation is so important to us, and in order to continue our service we request a minimum donation of $100 for continued use of the Anti-Joke website. Please submit your payment by the end of November 2012. All major credit cards are accepted, as is PayPal. Thank you again for your cooperation and understanding as we grow in our services.

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What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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