my egg roll

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops