Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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