Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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minorities.....

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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