How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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