knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

thumb_up thumb_down +13

wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +13

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The truth is he loves her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

This is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you end a sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops