a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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an athiest walks into a church

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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where is the world?

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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tea with milk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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