A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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how do you stop a gang of black people from raping a white woman? throw a basketball

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

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What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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Women can vote? wtf

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Do you play piano? No

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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