If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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