There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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