Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down

Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

thumb_up thumb_down

yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops