Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the guy die? because he got hit by a train. lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Good job, son.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your so gay, that you like men!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops