How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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Good job, son.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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why did the guy die? because he got hit by a train. lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops