Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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