How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

Penis

What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

Do you want to hear a joke? No.

Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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