A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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whats worse than getting raped by ben rothlesburger well rape-victims claim that rape has ruined their lives and most of them go into deep depression and need therapy so maybe the only worse thing is getting raped again by kobe ---sticksack

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A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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Amanda Knox walks home free.

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Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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