Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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Why couldn't the girl talk... she chocked to death -Alan Davis

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What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Why did little john fall off his bike? Somebody threw microwave oven at him.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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