What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

thumb_up thumb_down +13

minorities.....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

tom pauling

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tic tac toe. I never met my father

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +13

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

thumb_up thumb_down +13

where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops