Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Here's a joke The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops