What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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hi

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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roses are red, violets are blue. hey.

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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