Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops