Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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If youre African, why are you white?

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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