What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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k

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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Hey, austin, what are you doing?

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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