What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops