They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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Llamaworm

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Dont read this joke

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8--------------------- penis

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

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Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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