Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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12

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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no

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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