What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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What do you call a black Decepticon? Niggatron. What Pokemon is black? Niggachu. What lives in the sewers, eats pizza and is black? Teenage Mutant Nigga Turtles. What is Disney's most racist children's book? Winnie the Pooh and Nigger Too.

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops