You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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