What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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I don't find blind jokes funny. Honestly, I just can't see the humor in them.

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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