What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +16

- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops