What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is an antijoke It doesn't have to rhyme.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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This is a joke.

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Jimmy Saville

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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