Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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