Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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Call of Duty is a good game.

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

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what is orange? an orange

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops