What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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