Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

The NBA lockout

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

girls basketball

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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