Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

This is my first attempt at making an anti-joke: That's was it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who kille the Mockingbird? George Bush: i wish i could know the answer for this question, but belive me i am thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops