What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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Poop...

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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sure!

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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