How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Stealth baseballs record

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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