What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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