Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Christians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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