What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Jesus wept.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops