Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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BUT HWY?

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops