How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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A man walks around a bar.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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