roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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