Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Guess Penn State Is Holding Jerry Sandusky Day this Saturday against Nebraska. All Kids 10 and Under get in Free...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

God is like semen. They're both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

thumb_up thumb_down +24

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops