Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops