What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

people on this site vote for anti-jokes that make them laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A kid a jew and a child molester walk into a room . what happens next? Nothing there in a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops