Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

thumb_up thumb_down -58

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops